约会对象对你不感兴趣的10个肢体语言信号

One of the most common uses for reading body language is to determine whether another person is attracted to you. Most of us instinctively recognize signs of attraction: maintained eye contact, leaning in, and smiling, although there are some gender differences in these behaviors.

解析肢体语言的最普遍应用之一就是看对方是否喜欢你。我们大部分人都能通过直觉识别别人喜欢我们的信号：保持眼神接触、身体向你的方向倾斜、微笑等，尽管这些行为也存在着一些性别差异。

However, signs that a person is not attracted (or even bored) can also be helpful to recognize, particularly on a first date. Why spend your time or money on a second date if that basic level of interest just isn’t there? Behavior analysts have identified ten signs of lack of attraction or interest that might be observed at a first meeting. The usual rule of body language applies: look for several signs and don’t jump to conclusions if you see only one of these behaviors.

但识别别人不感兴趣、甚至厌烦的信号也很有用，尤其是在第一次约会时。如果第一次约会时都没达到基本的兴趣度，何必浪费时间金钱去再约呢？行为学家提出了在首次约会时可能会观测到的对方对你不感兴趣的十个迹象。这里肢体语言通用准则也适用：寻找多个信号。不要只因为只看到其中一种行为就仓促下结论。

01

A Single Raised Eyebrow: If your date is looking at you with a single eyebrow raised, they are probably skeptical about what you are telling them. At the very least, they are doubting that what you are saying is completely true as opposed to being an exaggeration or distortion of the facts.

单眉上挑：如果你的约会对象看你的时候单眉上挑，他/她很可能对你说的话感到质疑。即使他们并不认为你是在夸大或歪曲事实，至少他们也是在质疑你讲的是否完全真实。

02

Slouched Posture: There are two ways to read this sign. If your date is slouching while you are sitting up straight and looking alert, they are indicating a loss of interest and maybe even a lack of respect for you. But if you are slouching and your date mirrors you by also slouching, that is more likely a sign of their interest in you. The mirroring of posture is a common sign of wanting to engage with the person.

懒散姿态：这一信号有两种解读方式。如果对方在你坐姿端正注意力高度集中时保持懒散姿态，这意味着对方不感兴趣，甚至还可能对你缺乏尊重。但如果你姿态懒散，而且对方在模仿你的姿态，那么就更可能意味着对方对你感兴趣。姿态的模仿是一种常见的“想要和对方互动”的信号。

03

Creating a Barrier: Placing items between you and them is one way to put space between you, and is usually a defensive move. If the other person places one item, such as a cell phone, between you and them, it probably means little. If they continue to place items between you, or if they move so that larger items are between you, they are seeking a safe distance from you. This is inconsistent with feeling attraction, even for a person who is usually anxious.

创造一个屏障：在你们之间放置物品，是用来让双方保持一定距离的方式，通常是一种防御举动。如果对方只是放一件物品，比如手机，这很可能并无隐藏含义。但如果对方继续在你们之间放置物品，或者他们换到其他地方，从而让某件比较大的物品可以隔在你们之间，那么他们就是在试图和你保持安全距离。这种行为与“感到被吸引”这种感觉是完全不一致的，（如果喜欢对方，一般是不会做出这类行为的），即使对通常焦虑的人而言也是如此。

04

Eyelids Closing for Long Blinks: Behavior analysts call this “eye blocking” and note that we do this instinctively when we are looking at something we don’t like or find to be offensive in some way.

眼睛长闭式眨眼：行为分析家将这种行为称为“目部屏蔽”，并表示，当我们看到我们不喜欢的东西或觉得有攻击性的东西时，这是我们的本能动作。

05

Self-Grooming: Here’s another sign which can be read two ways. If they are self-grooming when they first see you, it is probably because they want to look their best for you or show their respect for you. For example, straightening a shirt or combing their hand through their hair as you first appear is not a problem. But if you have just asked them a question and they look down at their shirt to brush off something, they are showing a lack of respect or interest in your question

仪表整理：这也是一个可以从两个方面解读的信号：如果对方第一次见你时整理仪表，很可能是因为他们想要展示自己最好的一面，或者向你展示他们对你的尊重。比如，在你首次出现时，拉直衬衫，或手指梳过头发，这些都并无问题。但如果你仅仅只是问了对方一个问题，他们低头看自己的衬衫并掸掉什么东西，他们就是在表现出对你的不尊重或对你问题的不感兴趣。

06

Yawning: Most of us interpret yawning as a sign that the other person is sleepy or tired. While that may be true, it is probably not a good sign, particularly on a first date. Yawning can be a way to reduce tension by drawing in extra oxygen. You might take note of a yawn as a possible sign of tension. It can also be a sign of boredom. Most people will yawn after seven to nine minutes of listening to something (or someone) which doesn’t really interest them.

打哈欠：我们大部分人都将打哈欠解读为对方困了或累了。尽管这可能是正确的，但也很可能并非积极信号，尤其是在首次约会时。打哈欠是一种通过吸入更多氧气降低紧张感的方式。打哈欠可能表示紧张感，但也可能意味着感到无聊。大部分人在听一件自己不感兴趣的事，或听一个自己不感兴趣的人说话七到九分钟后，就会开始打哈欠。

07

Rigid Posture: As with yawning, this can be a sign of tension by someone who is interested. Most of us sit or stand with stiff posture when we are tense. One would hope that this is not the posture of the entire date, as it would suggest that the person is not content or comfortable in your presence.

姿态僵直：同打哈欠一样，这也可能意味着对方因为感兴趣而产生的紧张感。我们大部分人在紧张时会以僵直方式站立或坐着。你不希望在和某人约会时对方全程姿态僵硬，因为这可能意味着你让对方感到不自在、不舒服。

08

Thumb and Forefinger Pressed Against Face: This movement is called “facial denting” and is usually another sign of tension, and an effort to relieve that tension. This can indicate intense interest or it can indicate extreme boredom.

拇指和食指压在面部：这一动作被称为“制造面部凹痕”，通常也意味着紧张感，这一动作是为了缓解这种紧张感。这一动作可能意味着强烈的兴趣，也可能意味着感到极度厌倦。

09

One Side of Upper Lip Slightly Raised: This is a classic sign of contempt. If you see this without a clear context to explain it, you can assume it’s “game over,” at least for that encounter.

上嘴唇一侧上扬：经典的轻蔑信号。如果你看到这一信号，而且也没有其他的明确理由，那么你就可以认为没希望了，最起码这次见面是以失败告终了。

10

Feet Pointed Toward Door: The direction in which a person’s feet are pointed usually indicates their focus of attention at that time. If their feet are pointed away from you, it’s a sign that they have lost interest. This is particularly clear if their feet are directed toward another person in your group even as you are speaking with them. Feet pointed toward a door or exit suggests that your date wants to leave soon.

脚朝向门的方向：脚的朝向通常反映了一个人当时的关注点。如果对方脚的朝向从你的方向移开，这意味着对方已经失去兴趣。如果对方的脚转向了你们一群人中的另外一个人，甚至是你还在跟他/她说话时，这一信号就尤为明确了。脚朝向门或出口意味着对方想要快点离开。

You might want to take note of any of these signs and remain aware of how many you’ve observed within one date. It’s probably to your advantage to take a step back (pun intended!) from making more plans if you note several signs of disinterest. Read the cues and use your best judgment about whether or not to pursue that relationship.

在约会时，你可能需要注意察觉上述任何一种迹象，并一直留意其出现次数。如果你察觉到了对方多个不感兴趣的信号，那么可能明智之举就是“退一步”（特意双关），先不要制定更多计划。察言观色寻找信号，明智判断是否要继续发展下去。