REBT（理性情绪行为疗法）、三大错误执念与ABCDEF流程图
Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), is the forerunner of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). It was developed by Dr. Albert Ellis, a pioneer in the field. REBT emphasizes that irrational beliefs, as opposed to situations themselves, are at the root of our emotional disturbance. When you feel stressed, guilty, depressed, resentful, or act in self-defeating ways with procrastination and addictions, your demands (musts, shoulds, supposed tos, have tos, and got tos) are the primary cause of your problem.
理性情绪行为疗法是认知行为疗法中的最早一种理念，由该领域先驱人物Albert Ellis博士提出。REBT强调，非理性的理念才是我们情绪问题的根源，而非客观情形本身。当你感到有压力、内疚、抑郁、怨恨，或有不良行为习惯，如拖延或瘾症等，你的执念（那些你觉得必须怎样、应该怎样，需要怎样，本应怎样的想法）是你所有问题的主要原因所在。
This is the fundamental and powerful principle for effective psychological change. If you dislike having a particular maladaptive emotion, then change your thinking. That is the culprit.
这是有效实现心理改变的基础和强大准则。如果你不喜欢某种不良情绪，那么你需要改变你的思维方式。你的思维方式才是罪魁祸首。
The 3 major demands people disturb themselves with:
人们困扰自己的3种主要苛求/执念：
Demand #1/执念1:
Because I desire to, I absolutely must do well and get approval or else I'm a total loser. This demand leads to anxiety, stress, depression, shame, and guilt.
心想必须事成！
因为我想做，我就必须要做好，获得认可，否则我就是废物。这种执念会导致焦虑、压力、抑郁、羞耻和内疚。
Demand #2/执念2:
Because I prefer you to, you absolutely should treat me well with kindness, understanding, patience, and acceptance. If you fail you're a louse, a horrible person. This demand is a major cause of anger, resentment, and hostility.
都必须对我好！
因为我想要这样，所以你们必须以善意、理解、耐心和接纳来待我。如果你不这样做，你就是个坏人。这一执念是愤怒、怨恨和敌意的主要原因之一。
Demand #3/执念3:
Because it would be lovely if the world were fair, easy, and hassle-free, it absolutely must be otherwise it's horrible and I can't stand it. This demand leads to procrastination and addictions.
世界必须是美好公平的！
如果世界公平、简单、不麻烦，那该多么美好！所以这个世界必须这样，否则这个世界都太可怕，令我无法忍受。这种执念会导致拖延和瘾症。
Once you identify your demand, question, challenge, and contradict it. Instead, reinforce and act on passionate desires and preferences.
一旦你识别出了自己的执念，你需要质疑它、否定它、反驳它。并且转而去采取行动努力追求你想要的结果。
With little consideration for his employees, at 5 PM your manager announces, "finish the project before you leave work today please." You resent your manager for his inconsiderate behavior. Unfortunately, resentment, anger, and hostility eat you up inside, tend to alienate others, and do not solve your dilemma. How do you address the situation without such a self-defeating emotion? Use an A-B-C-D-E-F flowchart, which I call a Three Minute Therapy Exercise (TME).
比如，下午5点钟，你的经理毫不体谅员工，宣布说：今天必须完成这个项目再下班！这让你感到愤懑不已。很不幸，怨恨、愤怒和敌意会在你内心啮食你，会疏远他人，而且并不会解决你所处困境。那么，应该如何在不产生这种不良情绪的前提下应对这一情形呢？使用下面的这一ABCDEF流程图，我将这一流程图称为“3分钟心理治疗（TME）”
Here's an example:
示例如下：
A. (Activating event重述客观事件):
It's 4:50 PM and I'm preparing to leave work for a 5 PM dinner with friends. Out of the blue my manager assigns me a last-minute project.
现在是下午4：50了，我准备要5点钟下班和朋友一起吃完饭。但经理突然在最后一刻让我加班。
B. (irrational Belief识别非理性想法):
I wish he were more considerate, therefore he absolutely should be more considerate. He's a rotten person.
因为我希望他能够更体谅人，所以他必须要更体谅人。他坏透了！
C. (undesirable emotional Consequence识别不良情绪后果):
Great resentment.
愤恨不已
D. (Disputing or questioning the irrational Belief质疑上述不合理理念):
- What's the evidence simply because I prefer him to be more considerate he absolutely should be more considerate? 2. How does his inconsiderate behavior magically turn him into a thoroughly rotten, human being? 3. How does my resentment help me achieve my goals?
- 为什么我想要他变得更体谅人，他就必须得变得更体谅人？
- 这一件不体谅人的行为是怎样就把他定义为一个彻底坏透了的人的？
- 我的怨恨感对我实现个人目标有何益处？
E. (Effective new philosophy有效的新理念):
- My preferring he act more considerately only proves it's what I value and I prefer. It's not evidence he should or must conform to my values.
我想要他更体谅别人，这只能表明我自己的价值观和偏好，并不就意味着他应该或必须符合我的价值观。
- I don't run the universe and I don't control him. He's a free agent with free will; he'll do what he prefers at the moment, not necessarily what I would like.
我不是宇宙的主宰，我无权控制他。他是具有自由意志和主观能动性的自由个体；他有权按他的喜好做事情，并不一定就非得符合我的意愿。
- His inconsiderate decision only proves he's an imperfect human who acts imperfectly, never a totally bad person. Condemning his personhood is irrational, doesn't help, and only eats me up inside. His decision is understandable since he's acting in his own best interest.
他的这种不为他人考虑的决定，只能证明他并不完美，行为并不完善，但不能证明他是个彻头彻尾的坏人。谴责他的人格，是不理性的，也是无益的，而且只会在我内心啮食我自己。由于他的行为是出于他个人最佳利益考量，从这一角度也是可以让人理解的。
- Since he's an imperfect human I can expect him to act imperfectly and do inconsiderate things at times.
由于他并非完人，所以完全可以预料到他会时不时做出有欠缺的行为、做出一些不考虑他人的事情。
- This is a hassle, not a horror. My job has advantages as well as disadvantages. Getting paid for a job I find interesting (at least at times) outweighs the disadvantages.
这只是一次小麻烦，不是什么恐怖事件。我的工作有好处也有不好之处。能做自己喜欢的事（最起码有时是这样）还有钱拿，跟这一好处相比，其他不好之处也就不算什么了。
- Eating myself up inside with resentment doesn't help and only makes me feel worse.
用怨恨感暗暗啮食我自己，这不仅于事无补，而且只会让我感觉更糟糕。
- I can stand this unfair treatment although I greatly dislike it.
尽管我非常厌恶，但我其实还能忍受这种不公平对待
F. (new Feeling and/or behavior新感受和/或行为):
Deep disappointment and frustration, rather than resentment. Speak to the manager, explain my dilemma, and and request we delay the meeting until early tomorrow morning.
深深的失望和受挫感，而非怨恨。与经理沟通，解释个人困境，要求将会议推迟到第二天一早。
REBT recommends abolishing all absolutes, all psychopathological musts, shoulds, needs, and have tos while reinforcing and acting on our preferences. Strive to rid yourself of a demanding philosophy. When you succeed, what's left? Unconditional acceptance of yourself, others, and the conditions of your life.
REBT建议摒弃所有绝对化想法，所有达到心理疾病程度的“必须”、“需要”、“应该”等念头，同时去侧重于努力实现我们想要追求的结果。努力摒弃一种高度苛求的理念。当你成功摒弃这种执念，你会得到什么？对自己、对他人、对人生境遇的无条件接纳。